With the holidays and the New Year, parties abound. With this in mind, I offer to you the perfect party drink. The following is an excerpt from my memoir, TALES OF INSOMNIA DESPAIR & THE PERFECT COCKTAIL...
When you have insomnia, it’s like you’re running a marathon and you look over your shoulder and exhaustion is always gaining on you. Last night I was so tired, ready to drop in fact. But as soon as my head hit the pillow, my mind woke up and it took me several hours to fall asleep. And it wasn’t exactly restful, tossing and turning. Restive is the word—unable to keep still or silent, becoming increasingly difficult to control (like my frickin’ mind). But when you think about it, that’s a pretty crappy word. Restive sounds like festive. It sounds like something
good, like you fall asleep right away and have these cool dreams of great parties like they have in those Absolut Vodka commercials or Hollywood movies. I’ve never in my life been to a party that resembled a Hollywood movie, where everyone is dressed up and most of them are young and attractive, except for the wife’s fat best friend (but she’s going to the gym), and everyone has good jobs (except for the young Turk anti-hero) and there’s always someone famous there that someone knows from college who becomes either the deus ex machina or the bête noire.
My parties are usually filled with broke-ass artist types who hate their shitty low-paying jobs, and everyone’s dressed kind of casual low-key (i.e. slobby), and while there’s some overall attractiveness goin’ on, there are no models or movie stars. And even though we have Cîroc, P. Diddy ain’t never showin’ up...
(To read the rest, buy the book, but in the meantime, here's the drink...)
THE CHOCOLATE PANTY REMOVER
1 part Averna
1 part Domaine de Canton
1 part Gordon’s London Dry Gin
½ part Dark Crème de Cacao
½ part Canada Dry Ginger Ale
dash of Scrappy’s Chocolate bitters
Stir over ice, then strain into a chilled cocktail glass.
Garnish with a piece of dark chocolate.
(Click on book)