Don’t Worry Be Happy! Some Words & a Cocktail to Make You Stop Wallowing*
“Happiness is a chimera.” —Schopenhauer
When asked once by a journalist if he was happy, French General Charles de Gaulle responded, “What do you take me for, an idiot?” Au contraire, mon général, but who’s the idiot here? You with your constant worries? You who sees the world as nothing but a place rife with difficulties? With hindrances, impediments, obstacles, road blocks, dead ends, and occasionally, Nazis? With strife, violence, poverty, despair, and hopelessness? With this thing called the human condition, where just surviving is often a daily epic struggle that taxes us to the limits of our endurance? No thanks, Big Nose! I choose to be happy! And for those of you who assert that to be “happy” in a world such as this is the height of folly and self-delusion, not to mention a triumph of self-absorption and Narcissism, I say to you all, “Jealous!” You may ask, “How can someone be happy for more than a moment or two if they have any compassion and empathy towards the Earth and its inhabitants?” Haha! This is the question the poor person asks of the rich. Poor people wait around for that rainbow after the storm
because their lives are one storm after the next. And when they see it, the rainbow, for a few brief seconds they’re happy. But rich people create the storms and the rainbows! Ha! We don’t wait around for happiness. We live inside an enveloping crystalline bubble of Happiness that encloses us 24/7. It’s amazing what you can do with butt-loads of cash! And for those of you who maintain that “Money doesn’t buy happiness!” Ha! I say again. There is an unlimited amount of happiness out there in the world, and money buys it all, sucker!
“Money doesn’t buy happiness” is what poor people say to console themselves when they have to
face their sorry, pathetic, broke-ass lives. And for those of you who may accuse me of being a morally-bankrupt, soulless money-grubber, devoid of the above-mentioned compassion, empathy, and humanity, well, I’m crying all the way to my 18th Century chateau outside Paris and my six-month vacation in Europe and the Far East.
*I’m receiving my shock treatments this week at the sanitarium, so today’s BLOG post was guest-written by John Jacob Astor-Vanderbilt III.
DON’T WORRY BE HAPPY! 1½ parts Broker’s Gin ½ part Yellow Chartreuse ½ part Galliano L’Autentico ¼ part Gioia Luisa Limoncello ½ part Ocean Spray White Cranberry juice ½ part fresh-squeezed Lemon juice dash of Hella Bitters Citrus bitters Shake over ice. Strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with a lemon twist and a side of Benjamins.